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We are starting a new weekly round-up of articles, videos, websites and other know-how that has recently captured our attention.  We hope you find something you like and pass it on!

1) Lena Dunham gives great advice (via Cup of Jo)  We both watched ALL 12 of these videos and could have watched more.

2) Matthew O’Reilly “Am I dying? The honest answer. (via TED)  Short, sweet and to the point. We all want to be remembered, forgiven and have a life of meaning.

3) Shots of Awe – “The Urge to Merge: Why We Crave Intimacy”   Is there anything more to say? Our urge to become one. Do you feel it too?

4) Lingered Upon   My friend at work sent me this blog and I just love the photography. I love anything that reminds me to take more photographs.

5) 11 Steps to Prepare Yourself for Really Awesome Love (via Huffington Post) ‘Cause who doesn’t want that?!

6) Fall Plant Care (via The Sill) Dust the leaves and other solid tips to sustain your green friends through the changing season.

7) Bourdain Goes Bronx (via WNYC) “Parts Unknown” goes local and Bourdain has mixed feelings about it.

I was out to brunch this past weekend and my friend randomly asked me if I was happy. I thought about it before I answered and I told him that I feel full of joy. But then I started to explain that I also feel deep sorrow from time to time too. I started to think of this poem by Khalil Gibran that my cousin recently sent me. I do not think there is a better description than this of the actual depths of sorrow and joy.

On Joy and Sorrow

from The Prophet by Khalil Gibran

Then a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow.
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the reassure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

[posted by Farrell]

Blogging about my visit to the NY Art Book Fair for Valley Cruise Press

Anticipating some time to start painting again during my upcoming days off from work

Listening to Pablo Casals playing the Bach cello suites in a French monastery.  I’m told this guy used to go rock climbing before playing his concerts!

Reading Siddhartha.  I have read the first 3 pages over and over and still do not feel compelled to go any further. Any motivation to keep me going is welcomed.

Seeing the moon almost every day since Suz died. Our love for the moon is something we shared and talked about constantly. Last night was a crescent moon that was too perfect. It brought me to tears.

Feeling so much peace. Much more than usual.

[image via Pinterest}

Initially unrelated photo (taken at the National Portrait Gallery in Washington DC) and writings stored on my phone.

[posted by Lauren]

 

 

 

Lately I have been:

Reading The Tibetan Book of the Living and Dying and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Listening to a TED Talk by Andrew Connolly about our universe

Watching DMT: The Spirit Molecule and Particle Fever (both on Netflix) about particles and molecules that make us human and un-human.

Saying I love you as much as I can

Hearing People laugh at life

[posted by Farrell]

I have never known this level of grief before and it has been hard to cope with. The best I can describe it is as a strong gust of wind that comes out of nowhere, then passes just as fastly. Lately, I have been stuck on the idea that I will never get to have another conversation with Suz for the rest of my life. Even writing that breaks me heart.

A couple of my friends have also experienced some loss in their lives in the past weeks and we have been supporting each other as best as we can. My friend Kaya sent me this the other day, and I wanted to share it here. It is taken from from Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking. 

“Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it. We anticipate (we know) that someone close to us could die, but we do not look beyond the few days or weeks that immediately follow such an imagined death. We misconstrue the nature of even those few days or weeks. We might expect if the death is sudden to feel shock. We do not expect the shock to be obliterative, dislocating to both body and mind. We might expect that we will be prostrate, inconsolable, crazy with loss. We do not expect to be literally crazy, cool customers who believe that their husband is about to return and need his shoes. In the version of grief we imagine, the model will be “healing.” A certain forward movement will prevail. The worst days will be the earliest days. We imagine that the moment to most severely test us will be the funeral, after which this hypothetical healing will take place. When we anticipate the funeral we wonder about failing to “get through it,” rise to the occasion, exhibit the “strength” that invariably gets mentioned as the correct response to death. We anticipate needing to steel ourselves the for the moment: will I be able to greet people, will I be able to leave the scene, will I be able even to get dressed that day? We have no way of knowing that this will not be the issue. We have no way of knowing that the funeral itself will be anodyne, a kind of narcotic regression in which we are wrapped in the care of others and the gravity and meaning of the occasion. Nor can we know ahead of the fact (and here lies the heart of the difference between grief as we imagine it and grief as it is) the unending absence that follows, the void, the very opposite of meaning, the relentless succession of moments during which we will confront the experience of meaninglessness itself.”

And on the flip side, here is a video by Mastin Kipp about healing from profound loss.

The past few weeks have been full of various forms of transition for me, so much so that life is feeling a little like it is happening somewhere outside the normal measure of time.  Things are moving very fast, and very slow.  Farrell once said to me, “No worry, no hurry.”  It’s a silly and simple little phrase that has popped into my head so many times since I first heard it.  It is a much faster way to say this, which re-finds me every time I need it.  

*Above image: Helmut Newton for Vogue Paris, June/July 1973

This past weekend I had the opportunity to try Aqua Flight. For those of you who don’t know what this is, I will do my best my explain it. Aqua Flight, or fly boarding, is when you are flown up in the air by water pressure. It is basically like a hover board with water underneath you.

Although these videos are extremely cheesy, they show you all you can do with this new technology. It was one of the most fun things I have ever done!

Check it:

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPqVvThyL1A] [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cr-u28OpBg4]

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There is an Aqua Flight school in San Diego that I hope to check out soon as well.

The night that Suz passed away I had an overwhelming feeling that I needed to write down all of the things that she taught me. I thought I would share this here so that I will always know where to find it. The list keeps growing everyday.

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Suz’s Lessons

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How to show someone how much you love them with a couple squeezes of your hand.

How to cook, cut and make food.

How to whistle.

What songs to sing on a road trip.

How to bake.

How to show loyalty.

How to stand up for and advocate for yourself.

How to be a good host.

The importance of setting a mood.

How and why to keep up traditions.

The importance of writing letters.

It’s the little things that count.

Always take in your surroundings. The air, the sounds, the smells and appreciate them.

Save money.

How to pick the right healthcare.

How to throw a great party.

How to make your house smell like Christmas

Count to 10 before you respond when you are angry.

How to make someone feel special, loved and important – hear them and know them.

Be thoughtful.

Send cards.

How to wrap a present with a matching bow and how to curl a ribbon with a scissor.

How to share my struggles and how to celebrate my accomplishments.

How to listen to people.

How to appreciate the beauty in all things.

How to make a bed.

How to fold my clothes.

How to perfectly plan and time a Thanksgiving dinner.

AND…

Trust in Yourself. Do What’s Right.