Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to one of my favorite souls, Kaya! Kaya is not only my co-worker, but one of my best friends. She is always the person I turn to when I want to talk about anything. Her heart is so deep and thoughtful and I love having her as a friend. Without further ado, here is Kaya.
Hello Sister Disco family!
I saw this funny and interesting article about how to turn small talk into deep conversation on TED.com. As an introvert with a desire to only connect deeply this completely intrigued me.
There is value in small talk. It makes some people feel comfortable, it can create a foundation for building a relationship, and it’s not exhausting. The challenge is that some of us want to be whole heartedly invested in every encounter that we have. I personally love to walk away from a conversation feeling like I’m in the cosmos, thinking about the bigger picture of life, and even feeling more inspired to live passionately in each moment. I hate to coast; it’s not my style.
Since moving to L.A. I’ve had some of the most meaningful conversations in my life as well as some of the most painful/awkward/get me the heck out of here conversations. The dichotomy has been fascinating.
But, I am finally learning that people are willing to go deep, and if I want that from them, then I have to take that proverbial ball in my court and aim for connection (Yikes!).
I used to believe that some people were incapable of breaking surface talk and others were born to philosophize. I ran with the philosophers, so the others could take a hike. That is simply untrue (for the most part).
Human beings love to connect. We love to tell stories. Storytelling separates us from other animals. People want you to care about their story and vice versa — note to myself!
So the article includes tips like ask for stories, not answers, and strays from expected responses.
I hope this article gives you something to think about. I certainly felt inspired to change and strengthen day-to-day conversations. And while I may not always succeed at creating connection with every human being I encounter, at least I can say I gave it a shot.
“Go ahead, be bold. Upend the dinner table conversation! Turn small talk into big ideas at the next summer wedding reception you’re forced to attend! You never know which ideas will be worth spreading next.” — Chris Colin and Rob Baedeker
Here’s to connection and getting deep!
P.S. A full blown shout out to the queen of connection aka Farrell Feighan. The girl has a gift, and I’m honored to be her friend.