Heartful

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For the first time in five days, I sit by myself. Reflecting on all the cheers-ing, laughing, dancing, hugging, loving and sharing that took place on my trip to Maine and Boston last weekend. The word that comes to mind is heartful.

I know that life ebbs and flows, so I’m trying to give myself fully, but without attachment, to this current state, “still a child, still dancing toward the rhythm of life.”

***

Flies Buzzing
BY MARK TURCOTTE

somewhere in america, in a certain state of grace . . .
Patti Smith

As a child I danced
to the heartful, savage
rhythm
of the Native, the
American Indian,
in the Turtle Mountains,
in the Round Hall,
in the greasy light of
kerosene lamps.

As a child I danced
among the long, jangle legs of
the men, down
beside the whispering moccasin women,
in close circles
around the Old Ones,
who sat at the drum,
their heads tossed, backs arched
in ancient prayer.

As a child I danced away from the fist,
I danced toward the rhythms of life,
I danced into dreams, into
the sound of flies buzzing.
A deer advancing but clinging to the forest wall,
the old red woman rocking in her tattered shawl,
the young women bent, breasts
drooping to the mouths of their young, the heat
hanging heavy on the tips of our tongues,
until the Sun
burned the sky black, the moon
made us silvery blue and
all of the night sounds, all of the night sounds

folded together with the buzzing
still in our heads,
becoming a chant of ghosts,
of Crazy Horse and Wovoka
and all the Endless Others,
snaking through the weaving through the trees
like beams of ribbons of light,
singing, we shall live again we shall live,

until the Sun and the Sun and the Sun and I
awaken,
still a child, still dancing
toward the rhythm of life.

Mark Turcotte, “Flies Buzzing” from The Feathered Heart, published by Michigan State University Press. Copyright © 1998 by Mark Turcotte. 

Source: The Feathered Heart (Michigan State University Press, 1998)

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