You know what they say when things get weird? Mercury is in retrograde! I think it might be living in California, and being surrounded by wellness junkies, that contributes to the fact that I hear that all the time. It also helps that Mercury seems to be in retrograde ALL THE TIME. So between this blood moon (did you see it?!), and Mercury going backwards, let’s just say I have had a week of lessons so far.
It all started out on Monday. I was faced with situation after situation where I needed to speak up and I dropped the ball. It was one thing after another and I just ended up doing things that I didn’t have time for or that made me feel completely uncomfortable. Again, this happened to me last night. I got a massage that was borderline unbearable. This woman walked on my back for what felt like an eternity and I didn’t say a word, even though I was struggling not to throw up or pass out. What gives?! Am I that big of a baby? This week has proven to me that yeah, maybe I am.
I am not going to act like here I am, four days later, and just speaking my mind everywhere I turn. That is just not the case. Learning to speak up for yourself is really hard. At least for me. I think that it is a mixture of being a woman, being raised with midwestern politeness, and also being from a family where the woman do it all and don’t say a word about it. If you blend that up in a big ol’ pot, you get me.
So I guess I am going to try and say what I am feeing to people when I am actually in the situation. Because mostly, I call my sister, or someone else, right after and tell her how uncomfortable or weird a situation was instead of excusing myself in the moment.
Cheers to Mercury, the Midwest and genetics!
[posted by Farrell]