In the most recent chapter I read, she discusses her research on perfectionism.
Here is are some profound thoughts on perfectionism:
“Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, live perfectly, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgement and blame.
Perfectionism is self destructive because there is no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal.”
I read this as an outsider looking in on something I felt was not me. I can think of many people I know that are obviously perfectionists, but never thought I was one.
Then I realized that of course I have many levels of perfectionism, in whatever ways that means to me.
Here are some of Brene’s thoughts on how to cope and heal from perfectionism:
Self-kindness, common humanity (“I am not alone” type thing) and mindfulness about your habits of trying to be PERFECT.
Of course nothing is perfect and reading some of these thoughts was a great reminder this week.