Let us introduce our fun-loving, cool, smart and beautiful cousin, Juanita. She is participating in an awesome letter-writing project in the month of February and graciously wanted to share it with you all. Here she is:

February: The Month of Letters

Author Mary Robinette Kowall decided to disconnect herself from the Internet for one month.  She informed her friends and family that they could still reach her by mail. She writes about how her decision became a yearly celebration in her life, and it’s now become a yearly challenge for anyone that cares to participate.

Because I’ve always loved carefully composing letters and constructing elaborate packages to send to my close friends, Kowall’s idea immediately appealed to me. Of course, twenty-nine mailings could become very difficult to keep up with, so I was determined to set myself up for success by starting the month with a) two packages instead of letters and b) the most effective brand of motivational guilt I know: when you know you really should – in the most ultimate, scale-expanding sense of the word – be doing something good, the sheer objectiveness of the obligation makes it nearly impossible not to procrastinate.  But, because inaction is The Wrong Thing To Do, in this circumstance, the compelling power of this kind of guilt increases exponentially with each passing second until you’re finally forced to acknowledge that the limit has shot off towards infinity. For me, infinity happens to be ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, JUST FREAKIN’ DO IT ALREADY.

…Yep, I sent them to my mother.

To be fair to her/fill you all in, I was supposed to send my mother some things once I settled in after a recent move. That was June. So I think my mom deserves the first two days of my Month of Letters.  And knowing that she’ll love receiving anything with my name on it keeps me motivated to put extra thought into the presentation of my letters and packages. Since it’s now the 3^rd of the month, I can only show you some of the stationary I’ve compiled for the rest of the week’s mailings.

It’s amazing how “before” images always excite me like nothing else: materials spread out like freshly fallen snow ready for sculpture. But they’re not anything in particular right now, just an array of paper and clipped pictures I’ve kept squirreled away for months; so the heart flutter surprises me. Why exactly am I so enthusiastic about this project?

On the way home from weekday errands, I listened to Brené Brown’s interview on The Smart People Podcast. She’s an author and authenticity researcher who specializes in the study of wholeheartedness, shame, and vulnerability as the birthplace of creativity. I am a huge sucker for enumeration, linguistically meticulous descriptions of the abstract, and that’s exactly what Brené does. (I have a feeling she might also get starry-eyed when she talks about the flexibility and precision of the English language.) Eleven minutes into the podcast, she says:

“…there’s some quote that says, ‘In my twenties and thirties, I worried about what everyone thought; in my forties and fifties, I stopped worrying about what people think; and then in my sixties, I realized no one was even thinking about me to begin with.” Here’s where we have to start with that: we are absolutely hardwired for connection. It is why we’re here … we are neurobiologically, at a cellular level, wired to be in connection with other people … When there is a lack of connection, when there’s disconnection, there’s always suffering – I don’t care if we’re talking about in a personal relationship or in an organizational culture, in a family, when there’s disconnection, there’s always struggle, there’s always suffering.”

She then goes on to define shame and creativity in the context of the vulnerability of human connections for a grand total of forty-one minutes that I, for one, will definitely spend on this interview again. By the time I pulled into my driveway, I had magnified my enthusiasm for this project under a lucid, focused lens of understanding.

A hand-written letter is a method of interpersonal connection. By constructing, composing, and adorning messages to my friends, I am re-presenting myself to them creatively. Each packet is something I’ve made that will become part of my connection to my friend as soon as they receive it. I hope these items carry my presence, as if I were standing right in front of them, handing them my letter personally, a bizarrely specific postmistress with the best job in the world.

All the while, I had been dwelling solely on the recipients. Even though The Month of Letters is for others, it is not something you can complete without realizing that the sender is an equally important entity. Who am I and why would I do this?

Last year, I wrested a bachelor’s degree away from an intensely competitive college, leapt out of my cozy Bostonian nest of friends, and immersed myself in a firmly established office culture – none of which can be considered transitional moves. In fact, they were simultaneous. I felt almost as if I had been watching one movie, fully engrossed in the plot and happily munching on snacks, gotten up to drizzle more butter-flavored sauce over my popcorn, and accidentally walked back into a different theatre playing an entirely different movie with the same actors. I’m only just now aware that this is not the story I thought it was, and keeping up has been so mentally demanding that I hadn’t taken the time to look around and realize that my friends weren’t in this theatre. I am ashamed to say that I hadn’t noticed that, underneath my active attention, not only have I been missing them dearly, but I’ve also become a neglectful friend through inaction, monopolizing the super-sized bag of popcorn because I wasn’t vigilant about staying within their reach anymore.

This is what The Month of Letters is about for me: putting forth extra effort to strengthen my connection for/with/to other people. Twenty-nine of them, to start. I encourage everyone to give it a shot, if only for a week. Even just jotting down a list of recipients can get you started, ideas snowballing into creation.

Forget the 99%, be the 100%

The world in 2012 is an amazing place, full of wonder, innovation, and cooperation.  Within that world, America is an incredible land and an awesome idea.  Yet something is wrong with the country and the economy, affecting almost everyone.  At stake are people’s lives – their families, their homes, their communities and their sense of self-worth.  Because of these stakes, good individuals do things that are good for them but bad for society, whether it’s ignoring pollution or working for predatory lenders.

We are raised to believe that money is the reward for hard work; that making money helps society and fairly determines our value.  Making more money, by almost any means, is viewed as a virtue.  And the opposite is true of making less.  But now it’s obvious that this way of living is unhealthy, and our monetary system is corrupted, broken, and unfair.

It seems like only mass action, not individual financial success, will correct the ship of state – or more broadly, humanity.  Occupy Wall Street and the 99% have been America’s reaction. The premise of the movement is simple, even if the demands are not.  The premise is that the richest 1% of Americans has subverted the progress of the poorest 99%.  The movement believes only “occupation” and other military-themed protests will solve anything.

Here are a few problems with that logic:  The 1% is roughly 3,000,000 people.   The Occupy movement is based on divisive politics, pure and simple.  Blaming the rich is no different than race-bating or blaming gays for the failure of straight marriages.  Many of the 1% were simply born into their position and have had no affect on monetary or fiscal policy in their lifetimes.  The rich are not inherently bad nor the poor good, and the specific people and firms who directly contributed to the recession are a mix of both.  Viewing the world as a 99%er allows you to be unaccountable for your own impact on the economy.

Complaining about our problems and trying to bash the rich is easy – and cowardly.  It can be tempting, but is incredibly false and wrong.  Certain people in finance and politics may use flaws in our system to unjustly validate themselves, but America sets the rules and celebrates the winners.

Before Sept of 2008, I watched MTV’s Crib’s and listened to Jay-Z while wanting, approving, and glorifying excessive wealth.  I bet you did too.  Our entire country is responsible for our collective economic priorities, both good and bad.  And just as we all caused our problems, the only way to fix them is TOGETHER.

As we continue growing more connected as a species, our old institutions and power structures collapse. The more we connect the more we need each other because as things in our world break apart and change, all we have is each other.  We’ve come to a point where we must transistion as a people.  Simply put, we must unite to survive.

We have to be fully honest with one another, rich and poor.  Then forgive, unite, and move forward – we can be blessed by the abundance of the future, but we can’t do it divided.  We can’t do it pointing fingers and being hypocrites.  We can only do it by being honest with one another, by forgiving everyone for everything, and solving the five or so immediate, dire problems the world faces right now. Together, and only together, can we fix our world and ourselves by recognizing the humanity of, and human rights in, everyone.

Click through pictures above for source info.

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And in case you missed them, check out David’s previous posts Connected Part I and Part II.

A couple of weeks ago, I received a text from our thoughtful father suggesting that we do a blog post on the Japanese philosophy of Wabi-Sabi. He went into some detail to explain Wabi-Sabi and it became clear he was the one to write the post. So without further ado, take it away, Dad.

Are you Wabi-Sabi?

Several years ago I was introduced to the ancient Japanese concept of Wabi-Sabi, a paradigm shift in my perception of beauty.  American culture honors the new, the sleek, the modern, the unblemished:

A Sony flatscreen tv,

a Richard Meier-designed building,

virtually all things Apple.

Wabi-Sabi is the Japanese art of finding beauty in imperfection and of accepting the natural cycle of growth, decay and death.  Described by the architect Tadao Ando, “it celebrates cracks and crevices and all the other marks that time, weather, and loving use leave behind.  It reminds us that we are all but transient beings on this planet….Through Wabi-Sabi, we learn to embrace liver spots, rust, and frayed edges, and the march of time they represent.”

So now, that old, worn and scratched-up kitchen table takes on a new beauty.  Unsightly marks and grooves begin to evoke the hours spent over family meals where love, conversation, support and compassion flowed easily.

“Sabi things carry the burden of their years with dignity and grace,”  Ando continues to explain.  “The chilly mottled surface of an oxidized silver bowl, the yielding gray of weathered wood, the elegant withering of a bereft autumn bough.  An abandoned barn, as it collapses in on itself, holds this mystique.”

“At its core, wabi-sabi is about recognizing the beauty in what is, so you can step back and appreciate what you have all around you.”  Adam Kayce.

Wabi-Sabi is a simple aesthetic.  Let it expand your personal sense of beauty in architecture, poetry, home décor, furniture design, even your personal search for meaning in life.

Hi guys!  Meet our wonderful and talented friend Lis. I have fallen in love with her artwork and have been so excited to share it with you.  Head over to Lis’ blog to see even more of her intricately detailed work.

(Click images to enlarge)

Not only does she have the best name ever, but our friend Bethany Cocco is one talented girl!  (She has also borne witness to several members of our family – Lauren and myself included – having total travel meltdowns on two separate trips to India.  But that is another post all together!)

“Bethany’s designs are characterized by juxtapositions: precious metals take on the textures and patterns of natural objects or mimic the eroding surfaces of man-made ones.”

“The spirit of the pieces in her current line is both delicate and raw. It is inspired by the beauty the artist discovers in unexpected places: the ridges and folds of a dried chili pepper, the peeling paint on an old window frame.” (bethanycoccojewelry.com)

Check out Bethany’s website and Etsy shop to view more of her awesome work.

Today we are so excited to present a holiday guide to bubbly that our friend Catherine, of the fabulously named Grapes of Cath, graciously put together for us.  Cheers!

“This wine is too good for toast-drinking, my dear. You don’t want to mix emotions up with a wine like that.  You lose the taste.”
-Count Mippipopolous, from “The Sun Also Rises”

In a scene from one of Hemingway’s greats, Count Mippipolous is referring to an unnamed though, presumably, very good bottle of Champagne which he is sharing with two fellow characters, expatriates living in Paris during the crazy party days of the 1920’s.  Now, I don’t know if a Champagne is too good for toast-drinking (is a toast only as good as the wine that is used?  Or the intention of its participants?  A combination?), however, many may be too pricey for toast-drinking.  Practicality and ease on the wallet are important during times of toasting a-plenty!  Fortunately, when it comes to sparkling wines, it is very possible to satisfy Champagne tastes on a (higher end) beer budget.

Though bubbles are best at any time of year, I particularly enjoy them around the holidays.  Satiating and cheerful, I feel they are well-suited for the endurance required during yuletide socialization.  It can sometimes be tricky to know whether an unknown bottle is quality or crap.  Use your head, shop at smart spots, ask for help, check the back label for a wine’s importer.  Don’t be afraid to get creative with your choices…embrace the spirit of effervescence and try something totally new!

Sparkling wines are made in practically all of the world’s wine producing areas.  Composed of different grapes and using varying methods, price, flavor profile, quality, and value certainly vary.  Local tradition, style, and politics also play a role in the story of each sparkling.  There is always a big picture, eh?

Here are just a few ideas to throw into the arena- some of my personal favorites- a few particular wines and some general styles- all tried and true:

Perlwein by Michel

An individual label through Schloss Muhlenhof, from the Rheinhessen, Germany, Perlwein is a frizzante, or slightly sparkling, style of wine made in Germany.  This producer was a delightful find for me this summer.  Lighthearted and palate-cleansing bubbles.

Anything from Schramsburg

Schramsburg is a sparkling winery located in Calistoga, at the northern tip of California’s Napa Valley.  Founded by Jacob Schram, a German man who understood real wine and the capabilities of Napa’s terroir.  Schramsburg’s sparklings are made in the traditional method and aged in the estate’s hauntingly impressive caves, which were dug by Chinese laborers in the late 1800’s.

Llopart Rosé Cava

Cava is often a great value as part of its legal qualifications require that it be produced méthode champenoise (second fermentation occurs in bottle).  Cava mainly comes from northeast Spain and is composed of a blend of three native Spanish grapes (macabeu, parellada, and xarel-lo), the Llopart in particular tastes of quality far beyond its price- dry, bright red berries, brilliant acidity.

Franciacorta

Coming from the northern Italian region of Lombardy, sparkling wine produced in Franciacorta is made in the traditional method using chardonnay, pinot bianco, and pinot nero, harvested from the area’s extremely interesting mineral composition.  The name of the DOCG implies venerable quality.  An interesting, deliciously toasty, and inexpensive Franciacorta project is pulled off by the folks of Quattro Mani (label features a big ‘ole “Q”).

Italian bubbles  

There are so many!  Italy is home to hundreds and hundreds of indigenous grape varieties.  The country is full of regions, and those regions are full of towns, and many of those towns has a style of sparkling wine all its own.  Prosecco and lambrusco are some of the better known, sparkling erbaluce and sparkling verdicchio are some of the lesser.  If you grab a good producer, it is worth the gamble.

Crémant d’ …Alsace, Bordeaux, Bourgogne, Due, Jura, Limoux, Loire

I’ve lumped these goodies together, though each is quite distinct.  In France, the word “crémant” placed before a geographic location is pretty much saying that a wine is produced in this place in the same way of Champagne in terms of yields, harvest, and vinification, and that it should result in a similar standard of quality.  The name of its place is the indicator of its terroir and typical grapes.

Champagne Aubry

Because, even though all the rest are really awesome in their own way, Champagne is still Champagne in all its chalky soil glory.  Champagne Aubry is a small grower located around the city of Reims, owned by brothers, more than half of its blend is coming one of the three Champagne grapes, pinot meunier.  So real – and completely fair in price.

Last week’s post explored how social networks connect people.  Operating as their own organisms, these networks are strongest and most helpful to the people within them when network connections carry love – altruism, reciprocity, trust, sympathy, compassion and generosity.  Because we can’t find objective truth, or a definite reality in which we exist, what really binds us together and defines our reality are our sympathies and our social bonds.  In a sense, love is the only reality.  In many ways, we exist only because of our relation to other people and other things.  Now, let’s look past the connectors (people) to the connections themselves and try to see just the lines between the dots, our social bonds.

(Click on the images to go to their source)

 “There is no true person unless there are two entering into communication with another. The isolated individual is not a real person. A real person is one who lives in and for others. And the more personal relationships we form with others, the more we truly realize ourselves as person.”
-English Orthodox Bishop and Oxford Theologian Kallistos Ware

Social bonds exist not just between individuals; they are actual parts of our social networks. These bonds give our networks structure and energy.  They act as some of the strongest personal motivators in existence and are not easily broken. The movie “The Corporation” makes this clear, asking the question, “What makes good people do bad things on behalf of some corporations?”  The answer is the same thing that made the Grinch give back Christmas – our social bonds.

All connections are just energy in some form, and connections are everywhere and in everything – including ourselves. We know everything is made up of atoms, and atoms are almost entirely composed of the space between particles. Then, from atoms to molecules to organs to human beings to social networks we are, strikingly, unconsciously part of – and somewhat controlled by – this series of networks.  This continues on to ecosystems, planets, solar systems, etc.

Art is the connections that exist between images and our senses, such as a shirt being loud or something sounding sweet.  The golden ratio is an expression of the relative nature of art and science.

Einstein’s theory of relativity states something similar.  It explains gravity connecting things as well as the interaction of space and time.  Everything is connected, or relative.  And e=MC² literally means that all matter is energy; even the smallest amount of matter is an unimaginable amount of energy.  Seen together, everything is energy and everything is connected, operating with varying waves and vibrations.

Back to social networks, our connections are everywhere and exponentially outnumber us.  They can be carrying love or hate, positivity or negativity.  We can literally create atmospheres of love or social environments that feel toxic.

We just discovered that connections can overpower us; they are predictive of 70% of our behavior. But just because love is binding us together doesn’t mean that we can stop acting for ourselves.

Some people consciously manipulate social networks and restrict connections (Union busting and Middle Eastern tyranny are prime examples of this type of action).  Our networks can unconsciously hurt us as well.  Rioting Penn State students were likely just trying to show their love and loyalty, but they were tragically misguided.  The students in question were allowing their hearts and the connections between them to trump their brains, which were hopefully telling them that their coach has flaws.  If people don’t stand up and speak up for what they believe, then our networks can become dangerous places.  This is no small task, because social networks will react to individuals who introduce damaging truths or behaviors.

The good news is that we have far more influence than we realize, and standing up for your beliefs can be contagious both for yourself and others.  Plus, there seems to be a natural equilibrium of fairness within our networks and a demand for natural balance and harmony within ourselves.  Thinking and acting for yourself can be scary, but it’s critical to the well being of your social network, which thrives on openness and honesty. To heal a network that cycles negativity (be it civil war or family feuds), try honesty and forgiveness.

Suddenly, lessons from childhood ring true:

“Your integrity is paramount, protect it at all costs.” – Dad

“Know thyself.” – Mom (and a many other)

“Trust in yourself, do what’s right.” – Suz (Godmother)

“Be your own best friend, don’t beat up on yourself.” – Me

90% of life is showing up.

Remember, the only reality we know is the one that socially binds us together, most likely with love .  You and your social network need strong, loving, independent influences.  So be as good to yourself as possible and be the person we all need.  Then invest some love into your social networks, it will compound and come back to you – especially because the number of connections in our world is exploding.